a mother daughter cross-country collaboration
I never promised anything but tenderness (or, here is a mother's day reflection)
My mother is many things - most recently, she is a quilter. She is also a singer, a pianist, a pick-up-literally-any-instrument-and-start-playing-it-ist. She sketches, she goes on big, steep hikes, and she runs. My mother inspires me to be brave when I am scared - she joined a college voice class recently, which gave me the courage to audition over Zoom for an ensemble in my choir.
My mother gave me music. She gave me harmony and rounds and she taught me how to sight-read. She taught me to knit when I asked her to, and then she knit me a 2.5x sized baby afghan pattern out of easter egg colored acrylic I chose from Beverly’s for the queen-sized bed I complained about needing more than my older sister (sorry, Tay). She made our poodle skirt halloween costumes on my dad’s mother’s sewing machine. And then she taught me how to use that sewing machine, and when I couldn’t get the needle threaded, she threaded it for me. She changed the bobbin and sewed the seams I couldn’t.
My mother was in musical theater. She braved late-night rehearsals with a child in the foggy cold at the Forest Theater to play one of the main pirates in Peter Pan. She did all of this while working, full time, as a music teacher, and doing the lion’s share of the domestic labor in our home. She taught music until it was cut at the public school where she worked, and she was then shuffled around from kindergarten to 2nd grade, to combo classes. When the district found the money (and the sense), they brought back some music classes, and she applied for and got the job to teach those. She schlepped from school to school with instruments, and I again witnessed her play-anything-ability.
My mother retired recently, and she is now a quilter. She would wince at this description of her as a “quilter”, but that is because she is prone to downplaying her strengths. She took a couple of classes, then dove in headfirst, and has now made ~20 quilts. She regularly texts me pictures of her latest block arrangement, seeking my aesthetic feedback. I feel anxious about the responsibility - I’m not so sure my eye is any better than hers, but I treasure the text & picture exchanges all the same.
She showed me her instagram which she made in order to keep a record of her practice, and when she showed it to me, she made a self-deprecating face and talked about it being silly. I wasn’t having any of that. I LOVE that she is keeping a digital archive of her practice and that she is finding ways to engage in digital community surrounding textile love (how could I not love that?).
And I know you’ll think I’m biased because I’m her child, but you know what? I love her work. I think it’s playful and thoughtful, and you can see how she’s building her quilting muscle with each new quilt. She chooses bold colors and adorable, themed prints, and she catalogs her aesthetic inspiration - often the natural beauty of the land I grew up on. She is learning to let go of perfection, she tells me she “learned that from me - the ‘wonky ass seams’”, and I am heartened to hear it.
When she sent me the pictures of this quilt top (the pattern is the Meadowland Quilt by Then Came June, for the curious), I fell totally in love. The colors were so exciting to me, and so outside my comfort zone. I treaded carefully at first with my offer to hand quilt it - I know I get attached to my work, and I didn’t want to assume she didn’t already have a vision lined up for this. So I was stoked when she was excited about the idea of a collaboration.
She sent it off to her long arm quilter who basted it for us (whaaaat? who knew that was a thing?), and on the day of my last choir concert, she brought the quilt sandwich, along with my grandmother’s machine, recently repaired by “her guy” (the sewing machine repairman who is extremely helpful), and flowers (bless).
Now I get to hand quilt this quilt. This quilt that my mother meticulously cut and sewed together. This literal thread can hold us together as I make this necessary but painful move cross-country. And once we’re settled, this quilt will grace the bed that we will keep for her and my dad, whenever they’re able to come.
If you are feeling outraged about the state of legal abortion access in the US, please know that I am with you. If you have financial resources at your disposal, now is a great time to set up a monthly donation to the National Network of Abortion Funds, and if you work for a corporation that ever matches donations, now is a good time to ask them if they’ll match a donation you’re making.
RAIN EYES, ENYA IS SINGING IN HER CASTLE READING THIS RITE MEOW.
The tenderness I needed 💘